Is your heart breaking? Grieving hearts need hope. Did you know that grieving involves a process that takes time? Kübler-Ross created a grief cycle model with five stages. Although she focused on death and bereavement, people who experience life-altering circumstances such as financial loss, sickness and disease or disability also go through these stages. Each person grieves differently. You may go though all five stages in sequential order, or skip a stage or two, and find that you have backtracked to step #2 again and so on.

1. Denial – “I am okay. Everything is fine.” In this stage many refuse to accept facts – a natural defense mechanism to protect your heart.
2. Anger – “Why me? Why did this happen?” In this stage anger is directed at oneself, othersand even God. “Why did God let this happen?”
3. Bargaining – “God, I’ll do whatever it takes to make it better.” You want the circumstances to change so desperately that you may plead and bargain.
4. Depression – A form of acceptance with your heart still attached to it. This stage is normal, and everyone grieves differently. This stage is crucial. Some people emerge changed forever, (either good or bad)—occasionally some are stronger, but others never fully recover.
5. Acceptance – “Okay, it happened. How can I make it? How will it change me? How will I carry on?” You realize your life will be different, but also understand the fragility of your own existence. You learn complete reliance on God’s strength for each day.

Having experienced numerous deaths of family members, close friends and even pets, I found that Kübler-Ross’ model is helpful in understanding grief. Although you may find acceptance sooner in some losses, other losses may be more difficult to accept.

If you have experienced a tremendous loss, even if it’s been over twenty years, God can take the broken pieces of your life—the shattered fragments of your heart—and give you hope again. Hope is not found in religion, or other “spiritual, but not religious” encounters. Hope is not found in crystals, rocks, or idols. Hope is found in a personal relationship with Christ. He will pick you up and carry you. He will never let you go.

“One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock” (Psalm 27:4-5).

Stayed tuned for additional Scriptures on healing a broken heart.

Source:

Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On Death & Dying. Scribner. New York.